Fashion Week Diary because even though Milan is already behind us, I still haven’t really told you much more than “I love these shoes! I love this show! I love this girl!” And really, I’m a much deeper more profound girl than that (“I love yoga!!!”)

So today, special just for you….. *drum roll please…*

The Big Questions I’m Asking Myself During Fashion Week

Big Question Number One :

Where are our favorite models from years past? 

Did you see the shows? C’mon! Where was Freja? And where was Sasha? And Constance? We all saw the fantastic Karlie Kloss do a few turns on the runway but outside of that, only cute little newbies.

So here’s the question : Are they saving them for Paris? Are they getting exclusive contracts? Are they now too big to do all the shows? Are they over and done for and fallen into the dark hole of fashion’s long forgotten?

Already Calvin Klein stole the beautiful Lara Stone to walk his and only his runways.

(Personal message for Lara : Lara, I miss your sexy truck driver walk)

So this is me saying right here and now, give me back my Freja.

Big Question Number Two : 

What’s going on with cheekbones? 

It was 10 or so years ago, okay, probably more but that doesn’t matter, that someone decided that the thing that every woman had to dream of having would be a luscious mouth. (and you have to say it with a sexy accent, like Laetitia Casta : luhseeeuhhzzzz)

No problem, some people thought, we’ll just pump ‘em up!!! Done!

10 years of giant smackers later, the same person decided that the new thing we had to dream of having would be high cheek bones.

As soon as that took, some people said (probably the same people, indeed) : We’ll just pump ‘em up!!!

It’s a pretty scary little circus show to watch those addicted to plastic surgery.

So this is me saying right here and now, please stop.

Big Question Number Threeeeee!

Who is going to win the designer race?

Marc is going to Dior, Phoebe to Vuitton, Raf to YSL, nothing is fully confirmed and is all very vague and every day some new piece of huge news comes falling down upon us. “coming from sources very, very, very, very close to the designer…” but nothing ever happens.

Who, whoooooo, whoooooo is going where??? Please, I beeeeeeegggggg you, just tellllllll me or I’m going to have a heart attaaaaaaaack!!!  Ohmagadohmagad!

Ok, I’m kidding.

And for now… Big Question Number Foooour!!!

What will the Kanye West Collection Look Like? 

Wait, there we have it!!! Kanye is actually going to win the designer race!

Yes, no, yes really, of course you heard me right. Kanye is launching his own women’s collection during Fashion Week Paris and we’re invited because we’re so buddy buddy with the staaaaaars (say it like Laetitia Casta, with the stahrrrrrrrs)

So there you have it all you haters who think that Kanye West goes to all the fashion shows for some shameless self promotion : nope, wrong again —-> He’s doing industrial espionage!!!!

The show is at 9:30pm,  which is when I’m usually fast asleep, but I’m still going. Because if it’s anything near what Victoria Beckham’s The Row was like, then I won’t make any fun beforehand. Kanye West the fashion show, I’m sure it’ll be great.

And finally Big Question number fiiiiiveeee

The mosquito that is currently fighting hard for dear life on my leg, won’t he just go ahead and die a terribly painful death, like, I dunno, under the 25 pounds of US Vogue that I’m about to drop on his head? 

That’s the last Big Question of the day and I have even fewer answers than for the others. Unfortunately, for my leg, if we run into each other and I’ve got red spots all over my leg, please please please, just don’t ask me any questions.

Aaaah, actually, come to think of it, I still have a whole bunch of Big Questions!!! Okay. Give me your answers to these ones and I’ll keep them coming as soon as I have this mosquito situation figured out.

Big hugs!

Translation : Tim Sullivan